


Switched

by AeBeSeeDe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Implied Masturbation, M/M, Nakedness, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Romance, Teenagers, body switching, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-02
Updated: 2012-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-06 14:25:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/419904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AeBeSeeDe/pseuds/AeBeSeeDe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave and John wake up in each other's bodies, and they're willing to go to great lengths to make things right again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waking from a Nightmare Into a Nightmare

The sound of a loud buzzing jolted John out of his sleep. With his heart pounding in his ears, he hurriedly patted around with his hand to turn the jarring alarm off. He sat up instantly, as if someone had shoved him from the bed, and his chest heaved as he caught his breath.  


He had dreamed that they were back in the game again, and Jack had been looming over him viciously. Somehow, he had been paralyzed, maybe with fear, and he hadn’t been able to move. And then, the man had taken his dagger, and he…  


No. The teen shook his head quickly and tried his best to will the horrible thoughts away. This was not the way to begin a Friday. Like he did every morning, John reached out for his glasses, but he soon realized that he was already wearing them. Weird. He never fell asleep like that.  


But his vision was much darker than usual. He removed the glasses from his face to rub the sleep from his eyes, and holy shit. What happened? His vision was perfect without them. Upon further inspection, the glasses were actually SUNglasses and not his typical prescription frames. The boy was also shirtless, and his bed had much different sheets than it did the night before. And when did he start wearing boxers with hearts on them? Slowly, he began to regain consciousness from his sleep, and then it hit him.  


“What the fuck?” Oh, no. That wasn’t his voice either. It was familiar but not his own. It was his best friend’s. It was Dave’s.  


John jumped out of the bed and wondered towards the bathroom. He had been over to Dave’s place a few times before, but it still wasn’t familiar like his own house. As he fumbled around, he opened his older brother’s door accidentally. The room was dark and eerily quiet, but he could see a few multi-colored smuppets littered around on the floor.  


“I... Um. S-sorry!” John choked out in his shock before slamming the door shut. Hopefully, Bro was a heavy sleeper. His stuttering words sounded so strange coming out of Dave’s mouth. No, his everything seemed strange in Dave’s body. How had this even happened?  


Upon locating the bathroom, he flipped the lights on after a couple of tries. (Okay, the switch on the left just turned on the fan. Good to know.) The room lit up, and he stared into the mirror. A loud gasp came from his lips as he looked at a foreign reflection. So it was true. He was Dave. His hands shook with shock and a bit of fear. This couldn’t be happening. The teenager grabbed onto the frames he was wearing and slowly removed them.  


John unclenched his fingers from the shades that he had bought years ago and set them on the counter. His fingertips brushed over his face. A few freckles were spotted across his cheeks.  


He leaned forward to inspect the body he was in, still pretty startled. John took a few long seconds to marvel at the red irises that he was using. Dave should really wear his shades less often. Without them, John could get a better look at his deep-set eyes and long, blonde eyelashes. He pulled down the bottom lids to gaze at them further.  


His hands trailed past his cheeks as he ran his thumbs over his jawline. It seemed really strong, and the angle really shaped his face well. It was smooth, so he must have shaved last night.  


Blinking, John backed away from the mirror and stared at his chest. As he ran his hands over his taut torso, he noticed that his stomach muscles were slightly defined. Maybe all of that sword fighting Dave did actually helped him in that respect.  


When he finally looked down at the boxers he was wearing, something hit him. Oh god. He had to piss really badly. There was no way that he was going to touch his best friend’s junk, and the thought of showering made him go rigid. There was no possible way either of those were happening. And just as he had that thought, he realized that someone was watching him.  


“Are you finished checking yourself out yet? The bus comes in twenty minutes, kid,” Bro told him in a husky voice as he leaned against the doorframe. He was clad in a bit more clothes than the other, but his hair stuck up in every direction. Even though he seemed like he had just woke up, the man was somehow a bit scary. The guy was wearing a wifebeater, and wow, his arms were really muscular. It didn’t help that he was at least a few inches taller than the other male.  


The younger man jumped back and couldn’t even find the words to give a coherent reply. Was he supposed to tell him what happened? Would he even believe it? John didn’t believe it himself.  


The alarmed expression on John’s face must have seemed pretty exaggerated because it earned a snicker from Dave’s brother. “It seems like you’re surprised to see me. I should remind you that I’m not the one who was slamming doors. Now, tell me what the fuck your problem is,” the man said in a leisurely tone before he gave a tired yawn.  


“I think I… um. Well, actually, I don’t know what the best way to explain it is, but maybe I’m-”  


“Look. I’m tired. I don’t have the energy to hear you ramble this morning. If you’re trying to skip school or something, that’s fine. Just don’t fail any of your classes,” Bro said, waving his hand dismissively as the opposite one scratched at his scalp. “And make sure you’re out of the shower by ten. I feel like getting a mad ablution on.” Before John could reply, Dirk was heading back for his bedroom.  


He shut the bathroom as quietly as he could, and a huge breath of relief came from his lips. That had been a close one. His eyes wondered back to his boxers as he was reminded that he needed to pee. This had to be the worst morning ever.  


Okay, John. This isn’t a huge deal. Just piss and get it over with. Dave would understand. In fact, Dave probably wouldn’t hesitate to pee with his best bro's dick.  


The boy slowly pulled his waistband down and held his breath. It wasn’t bad if he pretended it was his, but wow. It looked pretty different. And felt different. And… Fuck. He was spending too much time looking at his friend’s penis.  


One awkward urination later, he went back into his bedroom with burning cheeks. At least it couldn’t get any worse. He rummaged through his closet for a minute and finally found some jeans and one of his Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff shirts. It had a man slam dunking, but John couldn’t make out the caption. He was too frenzied to care though.  


As he was slipping the ridiculous shirt over his head, he was suddenly more confused than he had been at originally. Wait… what had happened to Dave? And what was his own body doing? Oh no. Please don’t let there be a connection.  


After imagining Dave interacting with his father, he couldn’t log into Pesterchum fast enough.


	2. Ghostbusters Pajamas

It would have been a wonderful day to be Dave Strider. Things would have been smooth sailing. He could have rolled out of bed, got ready, and taken the bus to his high school.

Except that he clearly wasn’t Strider. No. This couldn’t be right. His features were all identical to Egbert’s, and this had to be a nightmare. He should wake up eventually.

But he had been sitting in bed for the past ten minutes now, according to the clock on the nightstand where he had found the dork’s glasses. Weren’t nightmares supposed to be a bit more exciting?

Bored, he tossed off the blankets and noticed the pajamas that John had worn. They were blindingly lame and Ghostbusters themed. John must have every piece of movie merchandise released. Out of curiosity, he looked down the front of his pants and frowned. Well, John had grown a little more than he had.

“I better be dreaming,” he said out loud to no one in particular. Jesus, he had John’s voice too. There was no way he would be able to get used to that. Urgently, he pinched the skin on his arm in an attempt to wake himself up, but it didn’t seem to be working. All it did was hurt himself.

So maybe this was real. That didn’t matter. He would handle it calmly and logically. There had to be a reason behind this. There was no good cause for his heart to be beating this fast. Dave pinched himself again.

As he rubbed at his sore arm, he heard a knock at the bedroom door. “Son? Are you ready yet? We’re leaving in ten minutes.” Oh, no. No, no, no. Hell fucking no. There was no way that he was going to school like this. Not yet.

“I feel kind of sick, dad!” He shouted at the voice, hoping that it sounded like something John would say. “I think that I should stay home. I’ll be fine, and I can totally take care of myself. All by myself. Alone. Don’t worry or anything. I’ll stay in bed and stare at my beautiful movie posters.” Yes. Dave totally nailed it in that last sentence. 

“Uh… Alright then,” the male voice said with a mixture of concern and hesitation from the other side of the door. “Do you need me to get you anything?” Dave told him that he didn’t, and within a few minutes, John’s dad was driving down the street.

His eyes scanned around the room. He had been there several times before, but he was never alone. Yet, nothing was too out of the ordinary. There was nothing that screamed, “Hey! I’m what caused you to wake up in Egbert’s body!” He’d have to figure out why he was like this later.

If he was going to be stuck like this for a while, he might as well take advantage of it. Dave tried to run his fingers through his raven colored hair, but it was way too hard. Shit, did the doofus even own hair supplies? There had to be a brush around here somewhere.

Dave looked everywhere. John’s closet, the living room, the kitchen, the fridge (he grabbed breakfast as he sorted through it), the laundry room. After a few minutes of search, he eventually found a comb in the bathroom. It wasn’t a brush, but it was better than nothing. Sighing, he tried his best to style his hair into something that wasn’t a huge mess, yet it just ended up more untamed than it was before.

“Fuck this.” The comb clattered against the side of the sink. Then, Dave caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. It was really bizarre. The reflection seemed just like John, but he was controlling it like one of his bro’s puppets. He waved his hand around a couple of times as he stared at the bizarre image.

“I’m a huge homo, and Nicolas Cage is a horrible actor,” he said clearly before giving his reflection a smirk. “Dave is awesome. I’m so lame. I’ll let him cheat off of my math homework the next time he asks me because I realize that he’s too busy being awesome to study.”

But if he was going to be stuck in his best friend’s body like this, he knew that he had to make it a little cooler. In the back of his closet, he discovered John’s only pair of jeans among the sea of shorts that he owned. (Holy shit. Didn’t he get cold?) All of his shirts were either plain or had dumb jokes on them. Tossed in the bottom, he found an acceptable looking top. It was striped black and red, but it was better than the others.

“Not quite my usual level of attractiveness, but I’m missing my Strider genes too. I guess it’s sort of cute looking though,” he said before he ran his tongue over his front teeth. They protruded past his bottom lip. It would take more than a nice outfit to fix that shit though.

On second thought, he didn’t want Egbert to get rid of his overbite. In an odd way, it sort of fit him. It would be like Superman without absurd spandex. Like Christmas without fruitcake or U2 without a douche for a vocalist. John just couldn’t be the same person without it. 

Perhaps it was even endearing. No, only Lalonde would use that word to describe the teeth that poked out like John’s did. “Geeky” or “lame” were much better words.

He leaned over the sink as he stared at his face closer. His eyes were a brilliant shade of blue that reminded him of oceans. They looked so much better without his rectangular frames on, but when Dave looked around without them, everything was a little fuzzy.

If only he could have his shades though. Dave frowned as he thought more about it. They must still be with his original body. His body must be at his apartment . And if he was in John’s home in his place, then… Oh, shit. Egbert better not be screwing anything up. 

With worst case scenarios flooding his thoughts, Dave sat in front of John’s computer, and he managed to pull up Pesterchum. He considered screwing around on John’s account but decided that it wasn’t worth the effort. Besides, this seemed kind of urgent. He could always change John’s status to “dave is the best” later. 

With a few clicks and keystrokes, he was logged onto his own chumhandle, turntechGodhead. Before he could check and see if he was online, Egbert was already sending him several messages. 


	3. being you sucks

**\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --**  
EB: dave, please tell me that you’re there.  
EB: because if you’re not, i’m going to be even more confused.  
EB: i decided not to go to school today because i’m really freaked out.  
EB: and now you’re not answering.  
EB: but i can see that you’re online!  
TG: sup  
TG: damn egbert i just logged in  
TG: calm down  
EB: i think that i have a valid reason to be panicked!!  
TG: yeah ok this shit is sort of weird  
TG: and nice pajamas dude  
EB: they’re amazing. i had to order them off the internet.  
EB: do you even feel how soft they are? seriously, rub the shirt or something.  
TG: nah theyre on your floor right now and i dont feel like getting up  
EB: wait, are you naked??  
TG: no  
TG: as much as i would like to sit around and stare at your naked body i decided not to  
TG: btw i said that i dont like cage but it was in your voice  
TG: so technically you dont like nicolas cage anymore  
EB: if you want to be technical, we’re in each other’s bodies and that doesn’t mean shit.  
EB: nic cage is totally cool!  
EB: and i said that out loud just now.  
TG: thanks man  
TG: sorry to interrupt this aimless chat but do you have any clue how to fix this  
TG: because i kind of want to get back to being myself  
TG: being you sucks  
EB: rude!  
EB: but, no. i was hoping that you had some idea.  
TG: nothing here  
TG: goddamn it how are we going to go to school like this  
TG: hint were not  
EB: we have to! i have this huge test in calculus next week.  
TG: ahaha  
TG: youre going to fail so fucking hard  
TG: theres no way that im learning that shit in a week  
TG: im barely passing algebra 2  
EB: ok, then we have a week to get back to normal. where do we start?  
TG: how about we meet up  
TG: tomorrow at the mall  
TG: we can see a movie together  
TG: it will be totally bromantic  
EB: i don’t know if I can wait until then.  
EB: how do i talk to your brother? i don’t want him catching on that you aren’t you.  
EB: i think that he almost caught me this morning.  
TG: wait what  
TG: you talked to bro  
EB: yeah.  
EB: to be honest, he’s a little intimidating!  
TG: actually just dont do that anymore  
TG: avoid him at all costs and if he asks about it say that youre mad at something that happened at school  
TG: also you dont want to talk about it  
EB: won’t that make him concerned about you?  
TG: nah dont worry about it  
EB: oh! and don’t cuss around my dad, ok?  
EB: he gets sort of mad when i do.  
EB: he says that it leaves a bad impression on people.  
EB: but cursing is fine when he isn’t there. (heheheh)  
TG: dude youre like seventeen already  
TG: but ill watch out for it  
EB: good. i’m feeling pretty hungry now.  
EB: i’m going to make myself some breakfast.  
TG: i hope you like microwaved food  
TG: wait no dont open the fridge  
EB: ok?  
TG: pantry only  
TG: dont want you getting stabbed on your first day  
EB: ...  
EB: i'll talk to you later, dave.  
TG: yeah peace out  
 **\-- turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] –-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, people like this idea? I didn't expect anyone to read it.
> 
> This is my first fic, and I really appreciate all of the feedback. Every kudo and comment makes me smile.
> 
> But thanks, guys!


	4. John Likes Cat Videos

The rest of the day went by fairly well for John. He hadn’t gotten stabbed while grabbing breakfast, but a whole bunch of Bro’s puppets had fell on him. Those things were really creepy. There was nothing ironic about them. Dave probably didn’t know the definition of the word.  
For the most part, he stayed on the internet. It was easy to imagine that none of this had happened when he was just watching cool videos on YouTube. And Dave’s laugh was really nice! He should do it more. John saved a bunch of the clips to his favorites so that he could show them to his best friend later.

Bro’s shower had lasted from ten to well past noon. John frowned as he thought about that. Why would anyone need to take a shower that was over two hours long? He ran out of stuff to clean after the first ten minutes. Deep in thought, he didn’t notice with Dave’s brother appeared in the doorway of his bedroom. 

“You know, surfing the web isn’t actually considered a form of exercise,” the man told him as he crossed his arms to his chest. John jumped from where he sat on the computer chair, and he turned to stare back at him. 

Bro was really scary up close. Even in his regular attire, a white polo shirt and black pants, he still seemed like he could beat anyone to pulp in seconds. Yet, he wasn’t THAT muscular. It was probably the leather gloves and the pointy shades. And the tallness. And the unreadable expression. Oh god.

“I, um.” He blinked up at the older man and bit his lip. Come on, John. Remember what Dave told you to say. “I’m upset with something that happened at school, and I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Well, obviously something’s off,” he said slowly. “You’re not wearing your shades for one.” Bro held up a single finger before continuing. “Also, you set off that smuppet trap in the kitchen.” Two fingers. “And thirdly, you’ve been watching cat videos on the computer all day.” The man wiggled his three fingers in the air before crossing his arms again. “So what’s up?”

John opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Shit, he was the worst Dave ever. Spotting his dark frames on the desk in front of him, he quickly slipped them over his eyes and swallowed. When had his mouth became so dry?

“How do you know I’ve been watching cat videos?” He asked, but Dave’s brother just stared at him. “And it’s nothing! I don’t want to talk ab-”

“Is it a girl?” Bro asked, a smirk breaking his pokerface.

“What? No! Of course not, I don’t-”

“Is it a guy?” His smirk only widened.

“No!” The teenager exclaimed as he put his hands over his face. “It’s not! It’s no one, and it’s nothing. I don’t want to talk about this, Bro. Just… Leave me alone. Please.” John cradled his face in his hands.

“Please?” The man snickered. “Who are you, and what have you done with Dave Strider?” He asked jokingly. Even though he knew that he wasn’t serious, John couldn’t help but tense up.

“Leave me alone. Go. Out,” he said, his voice muffled by his hands.

“Whatever.” Apparently, John wasn’t convincing enough to make him leave. “Are you up for strife, kid?”

“Not really!” Oh no. There was no way that he could take him. He had never held a sword before, besides that one time that Dave tried to teach him over a year ago. John might have been okay with it if he had a hammer, but it would look suspicious for him to switch weapons all of a sudden.

“Allow me to rephrase that. Be on the roof in ten minutes,” Bro told him. Without bothering to wait for a reply, he smoothly turned on his heel and started to walk away.

Shit. The day kept getting worse. Quickly, he took out Dave’s iPhone and texted him to ask for advice. Of course, he didn’t receive any sort of reply.

A huge lump of uncertainty knotted inside of his chest. This wasn’t going to end well. All of his usual optimism was nowhere to be found as he grasped the hilt on one of Dave’s swords. Well, he might as well get it over with.

After slowly ascending to the rooftop, he spotted Bro. He was in plain sight, poised and ready. His knees were bent slightly in a ready position, and he wielded a long katana in his hands. John gulped.

He couldn’t do this. In the game, he had fought imps and monsters, but this was way different. This was a person, and Bro hadn’t done anything wrong to him. John just couldn’t bring himself to try and attack Dave’s brother. Instead, he let his sword fall to the rooftop, and he put his open palms up in the air. The metallic clang from the weapon rang out, but other than that, it was uncomfortably silent.

“I can’t fight you right now. I’m sorry,” John said, breaking the silence as his eyes looked down at the concrete of the roof.

For a moment, Bro didn’t do anything. He was frozen in place as if he were a statue. The boy wished that there were some way he could tell how he was feeling, but his face was about as readable as a rock.

After what seemed like years, the older man stood and lowered his weapon. Then, he slowly approached John.

“It seems like you’re chickening out of this battle. Is that what’s happening, Dave?” He asked before the younger one nodded rapidly. Bro clicked his tongue.

“Then you’re going to have to tell me what the fuck your problem is,” he stated firmly, causing John to sigh.

“Fine, but it would be easier to explain if D.. John was around,” the teenager said, quickly catching his slip. Bro arched an eyebrow.

“Are the two of you..?” He started to ask but trailed off. John furrowed his brows in confusion. Were they what? In different bodies? Yeah, they were. But that couldn’t be what Bro was referring to.

“Are we what?” The boy asked when he failed to continue.

“You know. Are the two of you together in the romantic sense of the word?” He asked patiently.

John could have said a lot of things. He could have told him no. Or hell no. Or hell fucking no. All of those would have worked. But he was sure that he had no control over what came out of his mouth. It was, without a doubt, the worst answer he could give him.

“Yes.”


	5. Minty Shampoo

If Dave was going out in public tomorrow, he really needed to something about his appearance. No offense to the dork, but John didn't seem like he spent much time worrying about what the ladies thought of him.

His hair stuck up at odd angles, his eyes looked wide and innocent, and his teeth were his teeth. Overall, he had to admit that he seemed goddamn adorable, but that wasn’t going to work for him. Dave Strider wasn’t an adorable person.

He stared into the mirror as he thought to himself. Mr. Egbert was home from work already, but Dave knew that the "I'm not feeling well" excuse would only work so long before he started growing suspicious. However, that was the only alibi he could come up with.

Frowning, he removed the striped shirt that he had donned earlier, and he turned around to operate the shower. It took him a moment to figure it out, but eventually, he got the warm water spraying.

As steam started filling the air, he stripped the rest of John's clothing and stepped into the warm stream. A relaxed sigh came from his lips as he tilted his head back into the water.

Eventually, his glasses got too wet and fogged, so he removed them to set them in the soap dish. It was then that he began to realize how weird this actually was. It was as if he were giving his friend a shower. His best bro. His palhancho. Friends don't bathe friends.

Well, friends also don't switch bodies. Dave shrugged it off. He would have to get over the weirdness if he wanted to discover how to fix this.

After grabbing the bar of soap, he ran it over his chest and gently rubbed his collarbones. Then it glided down to his stomach, and he stopped at the dark trail of hair that led further south.

Dave stared at his shaft for a moment before quickly averting his gaze. No. He wasn't even going to consider cleaning John's meat trombone. Even if no one else would know, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Quickly, he moved on to a different part of his body.

The shampoo was some shitty off-brand of Head and Shoulders, but it still smelt minty. A generous amount was squeezed onto his hand before he massaged it into his scalp. Of course, John lacked any conditioner. He scowled and shut the water off before stepping out of the shower.

With a white towel wrapped around his waist, he ran the plastic comb through his dripping hair. Fortunately, it was much easier to manage when it wet. After giving a few flicks of his wrist, his hair was successfully tamed.

By the time the raven-colored mane dried, Dave thought that he looked like a stud. He slipped on his rectangular frames and winked at his reflection. John could be really sexy if he tried.

As he grabbed his pants, a knock was heard on the bathroom door. "Son?" Dave frowned at Mr. Egbert's voice and asked him what he wanted.

"Dave is on the phone for you." Still half-naked, he quickly opened the bathroom door and stuck out his arm for the telephone. After a brief moment of hesitation, the businessman handed it over, and Dave promptly snapped the door shut.

"What is it, Egbert?" He used his shoulder to hold the phone to his ear as he clothed his lower half.

"Whoa. That's really freaky. I’m not used to hearing my own voice. It's like I'm talking to myself. Heh. I tried calling my cell phone, but you didn't answer." The laugh sounded nervous and forced. Dave assumed that he was stalling for something.

"Get to the point," he said impatiently before he began wiggling into his jeans.

"Oh, right." There was a pause over the line. If John expected him to fill the silence, he was sadly mistaken. Eventually, he continued. "So your Bro asked me what was wrong. We almost got into a strife, but he promised that he wouldn't if I told him what was going on. I knew that I couldn't tell him the truth, so I kind of went with his theory and gave him a reason for you to be acting so different. I'm sure we'll have to tell him the truth one day, but-"

Dave cut him off mid-sentence. "Wait. What did you tell him?"

"I... Well, I said that we were dating."

Dave put his palm to his face. That had to be the worst excuse anyone could come up with. If Bro thought that he was interested in guys, he would give him so much shit about it. All of the shit. All of it. It would have been just as easy to say that he was sick or that he had a crush on some girl at school. But John had to go and tell him the worst scenario possible.

"Dave?" His own voice came from the other end of the line. He realized that he hadn't replied to him yet.

"What was his reaction?" He asked in a flat tone.

"He seemed alright with it, and he gave me this short talk about how proud of me he was for coming out to him." Dave frowned. Okay, maybe it could have gone worse.

"Yeah. I guess it was a good excuse. It gives us a both reason to be acting so fucking weird," he concluded. "And it also gives us a reason to meet up at the mall tomorrow."

“Alright. That's about what I was thinking. Just don't give that excuse to my dad. I don't think he would react well if he thought I was..." John lowered his voice to a whisper, as if his father would somehow hear. "A homosexual." Dave had to hold back a laugh.

"Dude, being gay isn't bad. You know that, right?"

"I know, I know!" His response was instant. "But I don't think that's how my dad sees it. For a whole lot of reasons." Dave raised an eyebrow.

"It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this." He commented as a smirk grew on his face.

"What? No! I was just saying."

"Right."

"Anyway, I need to go. I just thought that I should let you know we’re fake-dating now," the boy said. Dave snickered at how awkward he sounded.

"Okay. Later, boyfriend."

John groaned, and the line went dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thanks for reading my work, guys. I really appreciate all the comments and kudos. Every time I see one, it motivates me to write more.
> 
> In case anyone was curious, Dave and John will be meeting in the next chapter.


	6. A Dozen Red Roses

The blonde boy sat on a wooden bench outside of the mall while he waited for his best friend to arrive. They really needed to get this stuff sorted out. He couldn’t pull off being Dave for much longer. Sooner or later, he would spill it to Dave’s brother.

In his hands, he held a bouquet of a dozen roses. Bro had insisted that he bring them because they were ironic. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a trash can in sight, and they were way too big to toss into a bush or something. Bro had also told him to “dress accordingly” which apparently meant black jeans, a plain shirt, and a blazer. He felt totally overdressed. This was the mall, not a fancy restaurant. 

John slipped his shades off and let them hang on the collar of his shirt. After giving a nervous sigh, he looked around. Why wasn’t Dave here already? It was so awkward to be alone like this. It probably looked like he was waiting for a date or something.

As he waited for time to go by, a small group of girls came out of the mall. They seemed to be around his age, and one of them pointed to John while whispering something to her friend. All of them giggled at her comment.

John immediately looked down and frowned. All he wanted to do was disappear. His clothes were way too nice for the mall, and now girls were making fun of him, and… Oh. When he looked up again, he noticed that they were approaching him.

“Hey, cutie,” one of them spoke as she stepped out of the small crowd of teenagers. “Are those roses for your girlfriend?”

At first, John could only blink up at her, stunned. Why was she talking to him? When he regained the ability to speak, he stumbled with his words.

“Uh… Not exactly. They’re for my friend. I’ve been waiting for them to show up, but they haven’t came yet. Right now, I’m just hanging out until they get here. Heheh.” He adjusted his blonde hair nervously.

“Wow. I’d love to be your friend. Guys have never, like, given me flowers unless we were dating or something.” She smiled at him before her mouth suddenly went slack. “And, like, whoa! Your eyes are red. Do you use colored contacts?” The girl sat down on the bench beside him as her friends stared. John suddenly felt really watched. This wasn’t good.

“Um. Well. I don’t think so. I mean, no. These are my eyes. Yeah. Obviously because they’re in my head and all.” Wait, was she flirting with him? Oh god. This couldn’t be happening. What was he supposed to do? Flirt back?

“Haha!” She laughed loudly, as if he had came up with a really good joke. When she leaned closer, John moved back a bit.

“It sucks that your friend left you here. I never leave my friends out of things. Especially if they’re, like, really good looking and all… So, do you have a girlfriend?” She asked after John failed to say anything. 

“I-I… No! I don’t.” Wow, what was she doing? Her hand was getting way too close to his leg, and this didn’t feel right at all. His heart was racing in his chest as he inched away, but suddenly, he ran out of bench to move down.

“Dave.” A very familiar voice came from behind him. Instantly, John jumped off of the bench and turned around, letting out a sigh of relief.

“I was wondering when you would get here. You could have…” The blonde started but trailed off when he got a good look at him. Oh my god. What had Dave done to John’s body?

For starters, he was wearing clothes that he was sure that he didn’t own. A pair of tight fitting jeans covered his legs, and they were tucked into some scarlet, hipster looking boots. His shirt was this button-up plaid thing that was the same shade as his shoes. 

But the most shocking thing was what was above his neck. With glasses nowhere to be found, his midnight hair was styled and gelled up. From his emotionless stare, John could definitely tell that it was Dave in his body. But, wow. He had made himself look really nice.

“Where are my glasses?” John asked, still holding the bouquet in his hands. He wondered how Dave was even seeing right now. The blue eyes rolled in their sockets while the girls stared at the both of them. 

“YOUR glasses are hanging on your shirt.” He responded before stepping forward and snatching them. When he placed them over his ocean-colored eyes, John couldn’t even recognize himself.

“And sorry girls, but this is our first date. So if you could all get lost, that would be great. I don’t need you cramping on my style,” he said before jumping over the bench and wrapping an arm around the other’s waist. John dropped the flowers and placed his face in his hands to hide his blush. This was stupid.

“No wonder he didn’t seem to be into me,” the girl that had spoken to him mumbled as she walked off with the rest of her friends. “He could have told me that he was, like, gay.”

John frowned and gently pulled the other’s arm off of him.

“Well, thanks for saving me, Dave. I think that girl was trying to seduce me or something,” the blonde spoke with a shudder as he rubbed his arm.

“I’ve been here for about five minutes now. It was pretty hilarious to watch.” The boy told him as a smirk came to his face. “And didn’t you mean to call me ‘John?’”

“No. Can we just call each other who we are on the inside?” John asked as he stared into his friend’s shades. “Besides, you look more like you right now than I do. Where did you even get those clothes?”

“I found a bunch of cash in your room, so I went shopping,” he stated with a shrug. “You needed them anyway. All you owned were shorts and t-shirts.”

“Dave!” He exclaimed. “I was saving for a car, you asshole! How much did you spend?” Dave looked down at his boots and thought about it.

“These Doc Martens were a little over a hundred. And I got the pants from-”

“Why in the world would you spend over one hundred dollars on a pair of shoes? You could buy at least twenty shirts with that kind of money,” he asked as he stared at him incredulously.

“They’re imports,” he said, as if it were obvious.

“I don’t care! No more spending my money. You don’t see me going around and blowing your cash on dumb stuff that you don’t need, right?” John crossed his arms and scowled. He wasn’t about to let him ruin his future just so that he could buy cool clothes.

Dave pointed down to the flowers that were still on the ground. “What about those?”

“Your brother bought those. He also made me bring them. Irony was somehow involved,” the boy explained as his voice quieted, and he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. The other teenager snatched them up with a nod.

“They’re beautiful, like you,” Dave told him with a straight expression.

“Oh, haha! I get it. We’re pretend dating, so now you’re pretend flirting with me, Dave! You’re so hilarious. A riot,” John said before rolling his red eyes. “Let’s just get to working this stuff out.” Dave nodded at the suggestion and sat down on the bench.

“So I’ve been doing some research,” he began as he placed the red roses down on the concrete ground. “About the whole body swapping thing.”

“Oh, really?” John asked before sitting down next to him. “Please share.”

“Out of all of the movies, shitty animes, and novels I’ve looked at where people switch bodies, one thing always gets them back,” Dave informed him. “They learn a lesson that they couldn’t have before. As soon as we both get an epiphany and realize something great and life-changing, we should go back to normal.”

John thought about it. What were they supposed to learn? Diversity? They both had pretty different home lives, but it didn’t seem like they were ignorant to each other’s backgrounds.

“Okay. But where do we start?” He asked Dave.

“I don’t know. I’ve thought about that, but I always draw a blank. It’ll probably take a while,” the boy admitted. “From the stories I’ve seen, it lasts anywhere from a few days to a few years.”

John’s mouth fell open. A few YEARS? That wasn’t going to work. Nope.

“There has to be a way we can speed up the process. I have that math test next week,” John insisted, but he was only met with a shrug.

“I don’t know, bro. But since we’re here already, do you want to go catch a movie? I’ll pay.”

"You're paying with MY money," John felt the need to point out.

“I know.”

“…Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm planning on updating this story every day or two. I know how this is going to end, but how it's getting there is still in the air. Is there anything that you all want to see more or less of? I'm open to feedback.
> 
> Also, if you want to follow me on Tumbr, I'm echotone. I'll probably have information on updates and the like on there.
> 
> And, I know I've said this a million times already, but I'm really thankful for everyone who reads this. It's been really fun to write.


	7. The Date

“You look really nice,” John commented as they walked together through the crowded mall. “Handsome even.”

Dave’s expression turned smug. He had put a lot of work into John’s appearance. It didn’t take him long to realize that the dude actually had some nice features. In his opinion, he still looked a bit dorky because of the way that his front teeth barely jutted out over his bottom lip, but the shades made up for it.

He had to refrain from commenting about his own body though. He assumed that his blonde hair hadn’t seen a brush since Thursday. Without his dark frames, Dave seemed way too approachable. It didn’t help that John insisted on smiling the entire time either. He appeared so different from himself that it was almost scary.

“Aw, thanks. I’m swooning over here,” Dave replied as he put the back of his hand to his forehead. “Catch me, Prince Charming.”

“That’s not what I meant, numbnuts!” John said before giving him a playful shove. “You just made me look good. I guess that’s one skill you have.”

“Along with my artistic ability?” The black-haired kid asked with a calm expression. John made a disgusted face.

“Dave, your comics are terrible,” he pointed out, and Dave shrugged. Obviously, John didn’t understand his ironic undertones. He would have tried to explain, but he knew that any attempt that he made would be in vain. Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff were the epitome of cool. They were practically subzero.

“Whatever. But you should be appreciative. I spent at least two hours working on your hairdo this morning. I had to go out and buy gel, and I cut some of your bangs. You should do it like this more often. You look sexy.”

“Dave!” John exclaimed, nearly shouting. “You can’t cut my hair without my permission. It’s not your body. It’s mine. You need to ask before you make any drastic changes.” This only made Dave snicker.

“Relax. You said that you like it, right? I don’t see what the big deal is,” Dave said as he shifted the bundle of roses to his opposite hand. “I made you look hot.” He couldn't help but notice how John avoided his compliments.

“The big deal is that it’s MY body. You can’t just go around and act like you own it,” John pouted as he crossed his arms to his chest. 

“It practically IS my body for the time being. If I have to wash your ass in the shower, I think I get the liberty to change your hairstyle,” he said before the other boy blushed bright red.

“You’ve taken a shower?” The blonde asked with a horrified face.

“You haven’t?” Dave retaliated with the same expression.

“Well, of course I haven’t! It’s not like I’ve wanted to see your junk. Or the rest of your body. Because, wow, that’s really gross. I mean, not that you’re ugly or anything! I just…”

“John, that’s ridiculous. I get that it’s weird for us to see each other naked, but you need to wash my body. If you don’t, I’ll throw you into the shower and do it myself. It might be a little awkward, but we’re going to have to deal with it. This is me officially giving you permission to touch my nakedness,” Dave told him with a scowl. 

A woman walking by with a young child shot them a look before muttering something incomprehensible under her breath.

“Well… Okay,” he said in a much quieter voice. “Fine. I’ll wash you or whatever. Anyway, weren’t we supposed to be seeing a movie?”

Oh, right. It sounded nice just to be able to hang out with his friend, especially with how hectic the past couple of days had been. Dave nodded and let John pick out a movie since he was positive that they wouldn’t be able to agree on one anyway.

In the end, John decided to drag him into some superhero flick. Dave had to admit that he wasn’t too keen on watching it, but he learned to enjoy it. The graphics were pretty badass. A large tub of popcorn sat between them, and by the end of the film, the empty container had been moved to the floor and forgotten.

After the movie let out, they walked together towards the parking lot. Dave tossed his flowers into a trash bin on the way out after explaining to John that it was for the best that Mr. Egbert didn’t see them.

“I think that we should tell your brother about this,” John said suddenly as they waited for the bus. Dave frowned and shook his head.

“He’ll think that you’re crazy,” the other replied instantly. “There’s no way you could prove it to him. In the end, he would probably think that you snapped or something.”

“What if…” John frowned, deep in thought. Then, his face suddenly brightened. “What if you spent the night with me? Then we could both explain this together. Maybe we could even get your brother on our side, and he could help us!” The blonde looked so excited that it was hard to tell him no.

“I’ll admit that it seems like a good plan. But what if he doesn’t believe us?” Dave asked him. There was a possibility that Bro would call the both of them crazy. Then, the man could call John’s dad. He didn’t want to think about what could come after that.

“Then, we’re screwed,” John said with a small sigh. “But I have the feeling that he’ll eventually catch on with or without us telling him. He seems suspicious already, Dave.”

Of course, he was right. There was no way that John would be able to fake years of practice with swords and being stoic. It might turn out better if Dave was there to explain as well. Plus, there was the fact that his Bro's intuition was powerful. It never took him long to figure out that something was up.

“Well, I guess I’m spending the night with you,” the boy with the raven-colored hair concluded. John was nearly jumping with excitement.

“Oh, man. You have to show me how your turntables work. I was always so afraid to touch them because they looked really expensive, but now that I’m you, I think-”

Dave quickly cut him off, “You’re not me. We might be in each other’s bodies, but we’re still different people. Don’t forget that.” The last thing that he wanted was for John to try and become him. They were completely different people, and above all, he didn’t want the dork to change.

“Yeah. Sorry.” John looked down quickly with a worried frown. “It was a slip. I didn’t mean it that way.” The bus pulled into the station.

“It’s whatever. Let’s go home.”


	8. Gay Chicken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short break! I've been really busy lately, but now my schedule's free.
> 
> This is another chapter that focuses on Dave's POV, mainly because the next one will feature John.

Dave's room was exactly as he left it. Bundles of wires crisscrossed over the floor. His blanket was tossed to the side on his bed. Game magazines, including the latest copy of Gamebro, littered the area around the closet that used to serve as his makeshift darkroom. It was organized chaos, and it was home.

The midnight-haired teen inspected the room, as if it were his first time seeing it. He had never thought that he would actually miss this place. Slowly, the boy ran his fingers along the wall and up to his shelf.

"I got this when I was nine," he said to the other boy as he held a large jar in his hands. It had been up on his shelf with a bunch of his taxidermy projects. Inside the glass container, there was something that resembled a fetus inside. "I bought it online. It's supposed to be an alien baby or some shit. If you put it under a backlight, it glows in the dark too."

John held a thoroughly disgusted expression. "That's gross. I don't see why you would spend your money on something dumb like that. I mean, it's obviously fake."

"So are your magic tricks," he retorted before carefully setting the jar back down in its proper place. It had cost him more than a few months of allowance. “But you still have those.”

"Hey! At least my tricks are pleasant to look at." The blonde crossed his arms. Dave didn't answer. Dead things had always fascinated him. It really interested him when they were preserved. He thought it was cool how long dead animals could seem like they were alive, suspended in place. It was almost like a three-dimensional photograph of what they once were.

"Those really creep me out," John said from behind him, breaking his line of thought. Dave just shrugged. Even if he tried to explain his fascination, he was sure that he wouldn’t understand.

"Whatever. Let's just focus on the task at hand." Dave cracked his knuckles and took a deep breath. "We need to talk to Bro."

“Yeah. He still thinks we're dating," John said with a nod. "It would be good to straighten this stuff out." 

It was strange. Dave had always thought that Bro wouldn’t like it if he dated a dude. From what John had told him, his brother had seemed really supportive though. It was surprising to say the least. 

His guardian had even bought John a rainbow goody bag of a bunch of homo shit, including a gay pride t-shirt and some decorations for a “coming out party.” Irony must have been tied in somehow.

“Yeah. You stay here. I’m going to go find him,” Dave said. It would be better if he were alone with his brother when he broke the news to him.

“Right this second?” John asked quickly, and Dave swore that he saw him give a bit of a pout. It looked so out of place on the taller teen’s face, especially since he wasn’t wearing his shades. “We just got here. Can’t we chill first?” Oh, no. Was his bottom lip quivering?

“I thought that seeing a movie was enough chilling, but if you really need some coolkid interaction to calm you down, I understand,” Dave said with a smirk. “We could lay down some totally sicknasty rhymes.”

John made a face. “Um. Actually, I don’t feel like listening to your lame raps right now. Could we do something enjoyable?”

Dave rolled his shaded blue eyes. “Whatever you want, Princess. Should I beat your ass at some old school games?” 

“I’m not really in the mood for that either,” John told him with a frown. Damn, he was being picky tonight. “And I’m so much better than you at Super Smash Bros. You don’t even compare. Most of the time, you just take the remote from me in the middle of a match.”

“That was once,” he corrected him. “And I don’t know how to entertain you then, Egbert. We aren’t going to watch another movie today, especially if you’re choosing. To be honest, I’d rather play gay chicken with Bro than watch Failure To Launch or something equally predictable,” he said. In response, John tilted his head.

“What’s gay chicken? That sounds like a really lame video game. Do you own it?” He asked him with a genuinely confused stare.

“Yes. It’s a video game. And most of the time, it is really lame. I own a copy too. I had to get that shit online because they don’t sell it in stores,” Dave said as he maintained a straight face. “The storyline sucks but the graphics are the bomb.”

“Oh? Maybe we could play it then. It has a really weird name though. Is it from Japan or something?” The blonde questioned. He seemed really interested.

“It’s not from Japan. It’s probably from alcohol and boring parties. And how about this: I’m going to find Bro. While I do that, you can go on YouTube and look at some videos. Then, you will tell me if it looks like something that you want to play,” Dave told him as he turned on his heel and moved for the door.

“What? Why can’t you just tell me what it's about?” John asked, and he huffed as he plopped down onto the computer chair. “Or you could just show me the back of the case.”

“Trust me. You’ll want to watch the gameplay first. And I need to go find my brother. Later, man.” Dave swiftly pulled his bedroom door open and left.

The only reason that he had been in such a hurry was because he didn’t want John to see the spreading grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for the next chapter to be much longer.


	9. Anywhere but here would be fine.

Gay Chicken was a really bizarre title for a video game. Perhaps it meant “Happy Chicken” or something like that. He furrowed his eyebrows as he thought about playing a game about a joyful bird. The Japanese had made weirder things before.

Or there was always the possibility that Dave was screwing with him.

John bit his lip in concentration and leaned forward as the first video loaded. It was just two guys sitting next to each other under the gaze of a shaky camera. Hey, this didn’t look like a video game at all! Maybe he had the wrong video.

Just as he was about to click another link, both of them started slowly leaning towards each other. One of the guys kept his eyes on the ground shyly, while the other stared directly at him. A few people were laughing in the background behind the amateur cameraman. Their faces gradually got closer and closer. Somehow, John knew where this all was going, yet he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

Their lips made contact for a brief moment before both of the boys looked away from each other and laughed. The footage continued for a couple of seconds before it went black.

John stared at the screen with his mouth agape. No. This had to be the wrong video. Maybe if he just watched another one, he would find the right game. Dave might have been messing with him or something, but he had to figure out what these people were doing.

On the second link he clicked, he decided to read the video’s short description. “It’s like playing chicken, except you don’t run the other guy off of the road… You kiss him,” he quietly read aloud to himself without realizing that he was doing it.

A light heat came to his cheeks, but for some reason, he decided to finish the entire video. This was stupid, but it gave him something to do while he waited for Dave. At least, that’s what he told himself. His mouse hovered over another video. Then there was a hand on his shoulder.

John jumped and spun around in his chair. Standing over him was Dave’s older brother. The younger one’s eyes went wide.

“You know, I don’t even think that counts as soft porn. There are better videos out there if you’re looking to get off,” he said with a straight expression. “And next time, you might want to shut your door.”

“What? I wasn’t…” Oh god. John thought about what this might seem like, and he quickly felt the need to explain. “That’s not what I was doing. It was just research.” Wasn’t Dave supposed to be talking to his brother right now?

“Research.” Bro arched an eyebrow. “Okay. Research for what exactly?”

“Research for the game Gay Chicken. I didn’t know what it was, and I was trying to find out,” John said as he slowly sank down in the computer chair.  
“From the way that you were biting your lip, it seems like you were doing more than just research, kid,” Bro told him. Had he actually been biting his lip? John wanted to punch himself right now.

“Well, that’s what it was, alright? Research,” John concluded before crossing his arms.

“Sure.” The older man shrugged. “And I wanted to ask you about something. Is there a reason that you gave your little boyfriend your shades? It’s an ironic gesture because he’s a huge fucking doofus, but you seem out of your element without them.”

“Because…” John hesitated while he came up with a response. “He’s not as big of a dork as I thought he was.” This seemed to satisfy Bro.

“Whatever. I’m just saying that there’s no way in hell that I’d give up my shades to my boyfriend,” the man said. John nearly gasped.

“You have a boyfriend?” He asked in a shocked whisper.

“No. I meant IF I had one,” he quickly corrected. “Just don’t let him make you his bitch, Dave. Unless you’re into that.” John’s cheeks burned.

“I’m not… He’s not..!” He struggled to form a coherent sentence. “Nobody is anyone’s bitch. We’re just normal.” Forget punching himself. John just wanted to disappear forever. A smug look rested on the older one’s face.

“So how far have you guys got?” Bro questioned him. This could not be happening. Where was Dave?

“We haven’t done anything yet.” John said each word slowly and carefully. He couldn’t even look up at Bro’s shades anymore. The older man clicked his tongue.

“When are you going to make your first move, Dave? You know the goof doesn’t have the courage to do it.” Ouch. John winced.

“I’m waiting until the right time. I don’t want to rush things with him,” John explained. He hoped that was a good enough answer. “I really like him, and I don’t want to risk scaring him off.” Great. That should be believable. 

“So you’re saying that during the movie date earlier, you didn’t make an attempt to get to first base?” Bro asked with the same skeptical expression from earlier. “Listen. It’s obvious that both of you are into each other. I’ve seen that for a while. I don’t think that your fear of scaring him off is a very valid concern.”

“It’s never been obvious,” John insisted. Did it actually seem like they were into each other in that way? “And I don’t know. I’ll try, okay?” This conversation was quickly turning more and more uncomfortable. Part of him wished that Dave could just come in and save him like he had done earlier in front of the mall. Bro made him more uncomfortable than the crowd of teenage girls though.

“Don’t try to act like you two haven’t always had the hots for each other. I know how much you both talk. It’s hard to miss the constant red and blue on your monitor,” Bro said. John quickly tried to change the subject.

“I’m going to kiss him soon,” John concluded. “Really soon. I promise.”

Bro took a step back and nodded as he slipped his hand into the pocket of his black pants. He fished something out and held it between his index and middle finger. Oh god. John held his breath and waited for this to be over with.

“You’re seventeen. And as a responsible guardian, I’m going to tell you that you shouldn’t be thinking about sex at this age,” Bro began with a serious tone. “But if you happen to get into a situation where it’s absolutely inevitable, I want you to be safe.” Dave’s brother tossed a condom into John’s lap.

John stared down at the square package before he squeezed his eyes shut. If he tried really hard, he was sure that he could magically teleport to somewhere else, like the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Anywhere but here would be fine.

“And if you have any questions about sex, don’t go to porn. That shit can be really inaccurate. The same applies to Urban Dictionary and Yahoo Answers. If you need advice, read a nonfiction book on gay intercourse, or ask me. But to be perfectly honest, I’d prefer if you come to me only if you’ve run out of other options,” Bro went on to explain. “Because I’m not too keen on explaining how dicks work to you.”

Maybe he could go to the inside of a volcano. That would probably hurt a lot less than drowning, considering that the lava would melt him in less than a second. Yeah, that’s the one place where John wanted to be.

Bro took a step back as John slipped the condom into his pocket awkwardly. The man with the hat nodded as if he had just done something really praiseworthy.

“Speaking of your new fascination, where is John?” Bro asked before he took a glance around Dave’s room. “I thought he would be attached to your hip by now.”

“I think he went to find something to eat,” John lied quickly. He would say anything that would get Bro to leave him alone for five minutes.

“Alright. I’m going to go find him,” he stated as he moved for the door. “He and I need to have a little talk.”

“Good luck,” John told him with a relieved sigh. He received no reply as Bro swiftly left the bedroom.

A few seconds later, Dave came through the door. His lips were tightened in a way that made him look slightly annoyed.

“Have you seen my goddamn brother anywhere?” The shaded teen asked as he stepped into the room. “I’ve been looking everywhere for him.”

“You just missed him,” John groaned with exhaustion. “He had this long talk with me too. Apparently, I’m supposed to be making a move on you soon.”

“Was it a sex talk?” He asked before John gave a slow nod. “And did he give you a love glove or something?”

“If you mean a condom, then yes,” John said with a wrinkled nose. “Thanks for coming to save me by the way. It wasn’t awkward for me at all.”

“Sorry, Princess. This knight was busy in another part of the castle,” Dave said without missing a beat. John rolled his red eyes.

“I would be a prince, not a princess,” he told him. It was the second time that Dave had called him by that name, so he felt the need to correct him. “And if you’re my knight, you’re doing a pretty shitty job. Can’t I fire you?”

“Yeah, but I’m the illest knight you’ve ever had. The entire kingdom would weep for years at its loss. People would wear black and mourn in the streets. The economy would fall into an endless depression. Think of your people, Egbert,” he told the boy who was still sitting in his computer chair. John just shook his head.

“Oh, yeah. And what did you think about gay chicken, dude?” Dave asked with a smirk. “The reviewers gave it a pretty high rating. Do you want to give it a go?”

“Leave,” John said as he deadpanned. “Go find your brother.”

“I’ll find him. Then we can go strife, and I can blow his mind with this body swapping shit.” Dave paused before his lips twitched upwards. “I’ll rattle his brain and knock him on his ass. It’ll be fast. When I’m done with him, he’ll be fucking aghast. I’ll serve him as you, and he’ll know he got classed. My rhyme knowledge is vast. My sick beats are unsurpassed. He’ll be down, and I’ll outlast. Because-”

“Dave,” John tried to interrupt him in mid-rap.

“I’m not cheap shit. I’m built to last. I’ve got a…” Dave finally stopped when John pointed behind him, and he turned around.

“Welcome back, lil’ bro. Now, why don’t both of you explain this?” Bro stood there with his arms crossed, and he rested his back against the doorframe leisurely. 

Dave and John exchanged a long look. Neither of them really knew where to begin. There was no manual on how to explain that you’ve switched bodies with your best friend. Finally, Dave turned and faced his brother.

“Just how long do you have for the details?” The raven-haired kid asked. All of the energy that he had possessed during his rap was nowhere to be found. “Because, believe me, this is going to take a while to sort out.”


	10. How To Be John

It did take a while to explain their situation. Dave had done most of the talking, but every now and then, John would chime in to add a small detail. Bro remained silent until they were done explaining the situation completely.

“So basically, we’re in some deep shit until we can figure out how to switch back into our actual bodies,” Dave concluded before picking an imaginary piece of dust off of his plaid sleeve. John should have been thankful that someone so fucking cool inhabited his body.

Bro ran his tongue over his teeth while he thought. Finally, he spoke. “It seems to me that the two of you are doing the best that you can. There’s not much that I can suggest at this point.” The man shrugged. “But it would be for the better if John’s old man doesn’t figure out. Have you told him that you are in a relationship?”

“He’s not really my boyfriend!” John squeaked out quickly. “And I’m not gay either. Haha.” Dave felt a pang of foreign emotion in his gut, but now wasn’t the time for him to explore his feelings. Shoving them aside, he went on with his explanation.

“It seemed like a good excuse for why he was acting so weird,” the teen said as he pointed a thumb over at John, who was still seated at the computer chair. His brother nodded.

“Yeah, that’s a reasonable alibi. I don’t know if it will work with Daddy Egbert though.” Bro removed his cap and ran his fingers through his hair as he thought about it some more. “You’ll just have to learn how to be John.”

“Oh. That’s easy.”

“It is not!” John exclaimed as he scrunched up his nose. He leaned back in the chair and folded his arms. “To be honest, I don’t think you’ve been doing the best job at it.” In response, Dave rolled his eyes from behind his shades.

“All I’m saying is that it’s a lot harder to be me than it is to be you, especially because you’re you. It takes some skill to be a Strider,” Dave said with a smirk on his lips. “It’s not just ‘oh, Nic Cage is awesome,’ and ‘gee, maybe I need more movie posters.’” 

It did seem much simpler to be Egbert. All he had to do was blab about movies that got low ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. The math part might be a bump in the road, but the rest was a piece of cake. Dave was just relieved that John didn’t have to pretend to be him around his brother anymore. That had been embarrassing to watch.

“That’s horseshit!” John was instantly up from his seat. The blonde didn’t just look annoyed anymore. He was pissed. “You need to take this seriously, Dave. It only takes one time of you being a dumbass for my dad to find out about this.” His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, his nails digging into his palms. “And yeah, I like Con Air. Nicolas Cage is a really good actor. But I have other interests, you raging douche!”

Clearly taken aback by John’s sudden outburst, the raven-haired boy blinked. “Uh,” was all that came out of his mouth. Bro raised his eyebrows above his triangular frames, and he let the door shut quietly behind him on his way out.

“I program computers! I…” John grabbed at his blonde hair as he struggled to get his words out. “I know it’s really dumb and childish, but I like magic tricks, alright? They’re really neat!” Swallowing, he managed to lower voice from a yell. “I bet you haven’t even reminded Dad about ScareFest. Fuck, I might not be able to go this year.” His shoulders sagged as he thought about whatever that was.

“…Sorry?” It was rare that John ever seemed this frustrated, especially at him. It was really difficult for Dave to seem unfazed by it. “But it’s not my fault that I don’t know what ScareCest is.” John was quiet for a moment, and then he plopped down at the foot of Dave’s bed. He seemed completely exhausted.

“ScareCest? First of all, it’s ScareFest. Secondly, it… Why am I even explaining? You’re just going to make fun of it. You know, Dave, you can be a real asshole sometimes.” The blonde sighed.

“What, are you going to break up with me now?” Immediately after saying it, Dave bit his tongue. He really was an asshole, wasn’t he?

“Can’t you be serious for five minutes?” John didn’t seem angry anymore. He was just sounded defeated. “I can’t do this anymore. This is fucking hopeless.”

Something in the back of his mind caused Dave to sit next to the other teen. Without thinking twice about it, he wrapped his arms snugly around him and rested his chin up on his shoulder. John was warm as he embraced him.

Oh god. What was he doing? Dave was pretty sure he hadn’t hugged him since grade school. John probably thought this was weird or creepy. But as soon as Dave began to pull away, John grabbed onto him and held him tightly. The teen buried his face in Dave’s chest.

For a long moment, they just held each other wordlessly. John’s breath was sporadic and uneven, but his face was hidden in Dave’s new plaid shirt. After a second of hesitation, Dave slowly rubbed his back with one of his hands. He wasn’t used to being genuinely comforting.

“I miss my dad,” John spoke quietly when he looked up at his best friend. When Dave saw him, his heart nearly dropped to the floor. His eyes were red and not in the regular way. They seemed bloodshot, and the skin around the bottom of his eyeballs was swollen.

For some reason, realizing that John had been crying made him feel like shit. Dave was probably part of the reason that he was shedding tears in the first place. Maybe he could make it up to him though. Part of him really wanted to see that dorky smile again, even if it was on his own face.

“It hasn’t even been forty-eight hours,” Dave reminded him. Then he quickly added, “But I’m sorry. I really am, John. I didn’t want this to happen any more than you did. We can fix this though. We just have to figure out how.” John sniffed and nodded.

“I’m sorry for blowing up at you. It’s just that all of this is really frustrating, and I want to make sure that we’re both doing the right thing,” he said softly. “And if you could ask my dad to take me with you guys to ScareFest this year, I would really appreciate it.” Dave laughed quietly.

“Do you think you could handle seeing your dad without him recognizing you though?” He knew that he had felt a little weird when Bro didn’t know him.

“I don’t know,” he said truthfully before he gave a sigh. “But ScareFest is pretty much the biggest paranormal convention around. I’ve gone to it since I was a little kid.”

“I’ll find a way for you to go then. And for you to see your dad. I promise.” Dave managed a weak smile, and he held John by the shoulders. “No more tears, alright?” The other teen nodded.

“Sorry for getting your shirt all wet.” John rubbed at his eyes.

“You don’t need to say sorry, man. I should be the one doing that. I’m sorry for being a dick lately,” Dave told him. “Maybe I’ll let you kick my ass at some video games.”

“Heh.” The blonde grinned, and Dave’s heart thudded in his chest. “Thanks, Dave. You’re an asshole sometimes, but you can also be a really good friend.” John moved out of his hold, and he reached for the game controllers. “And I’ll kick your ass whether you let me or not!”

Dave smiled, but at the same time, he felt like something was missing. He still wanted to be holding him. The doofus seemed alright now, but he still had this strong desire. He wanted to embrace him again. He wanted to run his fingers through his blonde hair and tell him how beautiful his body was. He wanted to convince him that everything was going to turn out fine, even though he wasn’t sure if that was true.

But most of all, he wanted to kiss him. Dave wanted to kiss him on the forehead. No, he longed to kiss him on the cheek. Maybe on the neck. Definitely on the lips.

“Dave! Are you going to play or not?” John asked as he waved his hand in front of his face. “Wake up, dude.”

“Of course I’m going to play. Don’t expect me to go easy on you though after that trash talking you did.” He snatched the controller out of his hands.

It was then that Dave realized his feelings for John weren’t entirely platonic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just noticed that I was nearing 150 kudos. I'm honored. Thanks, everyone!


	11. you like pranks right

Unsurprisingly, John kicked Dave's ass into next week at Super Smash Bros. ("Fuck you, Egbert. I won two out of five rounds. If I wasn't so tired, I would have won them all.") They attempted several other games before they mutually agreed that it was time for sleep.

"But I'm getting the bed," Dave informed him. "I'm sure it hated the night it had to spend without me. We're pretty close."

John rolled his eyes. "Fine. Take the bed. I'm sure it missed you. But you know what?" He turned to him with a grin. "I think it's been cheating on you, Dave. Another guy slept on it last night."

Dave put a hand to his mouth in mock-surprise as he got up onto his mattress. "What? My own bed has been sleeping with someone else? Do you know who the son of a bitch was?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," he replied with a bit of a giggle. "I don't think that I can tell you though." John quickly snatched a pillow off of the bed and brought it down to the floor with him.

"I'll be worrying about this all night. Thanks for keeping me up, Egbert," Dave mumbled as he turned on his side under the blanket. "While I'm over here bawling my eyes out, go hit the lights for me."

With a nod, John stood. The light switch wasn't hard to find. It wasn't like he hadn't used it over the past couple of days. But he was also looking for something else.

"Where do you keep your spare blankets?" The teen asked after opening the bedroom door. He thought about exploring himself, but he didn't want to accidentally get buried in smuppet ass.

"Dude, you can just share my bed with me," the shaded guy replied. "Look." He moved over as close as he could towards the wall next to his mattress. "Plenty of room to spare." Then, he removed his shirt and tossed it to the floor. John assumed that Dave always slept in just his boxers, considering that was how he woke up yesterday morning. The blonde stood and followed suit. They were both dudes, so it shouldn’t be awkward.

"You won't get jealous that your bed is also sleeping with your best friend?" John asked with a dorky grin. He was happy that he didn’t have to sleep on the floor though. The last time he was here, he had done that, and his neck hadn’t felt so great in the morning. 

"I’m fine with a threeway tonight. Just shut up and come here before I change my mind." With that, John nodded and let out a quiet laugh. Even though he pretended to be cool, Dave was a huge dork on the inside. That’s probably why John had such an easy time befriending him years ago. All of the lame jokes, fake flirting, and nights spent awake messaging him had really made the “coolkid” grow on him.

John was positive that Dave felt just as close to him. Sometimes, the other teen pretended to be indifferent, but there were a few times that his caring had shown through. Most of those instances were influenced when John had messed with him.

A particular conversation came to his mind. It was one of their first pesterchum exchanges, and it had taken place a few days before Dave’s tenth birthday. The blonde fourth grader didn’t have many friends at the time, but one of the few people that he had attached to was John. 

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ghostyTrickster [GT] –-

TG: yo  
GT: hey, dave!!  
GT: what have, you been up, to?  
TG: not much  
TG: whats with the commas  
GT: i’ve been, trying to use, commas more often.  
GT: people do it, in the books, i read, and it makes them, look really smart. :B  
TG: you look dumb  
TG: punctuation is for babies  
TG: besides i dont think youre doing it right  
GT: whatever.  
GT: you’re just jealous of how clever i looked.  
TG: yeah ok i dont really care  
TG: i was just going to remind you that my birthday is this weekend  
TG: its going to be so sweet  
TG: girls will be lining to get in  
GT: i’m sure they will.  
TG: youre coming right  
GT: hm? i don’t know.   
GT: maybe if i feel like it. (hehehehe)  
TG: what  
GT: it depends. i might.  
TG: depends on what  
GT: i already said. if i feel like it.  
TG: oh  
TG: i was planning on watching ghostbusters because you told me that you liked it  
TG: and we can do pretty much whatever you want  
TG: you havent met my bro yet but hes chill  
TG: he says that he can take us to play pranks on the neighbors  
TG: you like pranks right  
EB: i might have other plans.  
TG: uh  
TG: well  
TG: please???  
GT: what?  
TG: please come john  
TG: to be honest with you i dont give a crap if most people come  
TG: but i really want you to be there  
TG: you dont even need to bring a present  
GT: haha!   
GT: that was way too easy.  
TG: huh  
GT: of course i’m coming to your birthday party! i just wanted to make you sweat a little.  
TG: …  
TG: fu

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] has blocked ghostyTrickster [GT] --

 

John snapped out of his daydream when the raven-haired boy shook him by the arm.

“Huh?” He asked, blinking his red eyes rapidly as he sat up in bed. “Oh. Sorry, I was kind of thinking about something. I must have been off in my own little world. Heh.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Dave said with an annoyed frown on his face. “You missed that entire speech I just gave, didn’t you?” What? He had been talking? John felt sort of bad about zoning out, so he asked him what he had been talking about.

“Never mind, dude. Forget it.” Dave laid his head down on the pillow and rolled over, facing away from him. Sighing, the other teen relaxed on his back and stared up at the dark ceiling. Thoughts drifted around in his mind as he began drifting off.

“Do you ever think about how long we’ve been friends, Dave? I mean, we’ve known each other for years. Maybe we’ll still know each other when we’re old and stuff. I think that would be really neat,” John said aloud. He was feeling pretty tired. “You’re actually a really good friend. I’m glad we met.”

Dave didn’t reply, so John assumed that he was asleep. He smiled to himself and let his eyes go shut.

“Good night, man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating has been changed because of future chapters. Also, wow, how do you format pesterchum conversations on here?
> 
> Again, thanks everyone for reading! I'm planning on uploading another chapter tomorrow or this weekend.


	12. Dave Strider was not asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just thought that I should warn everyone that this chapter is nsfw.
> 
> Oh! And I should mention that ao3/tumblr user nomyriad did some really awesome fanart. You all should look at it: http://nomyriad.tumblr.com/post/26138914196/

Dave Strider was not asleep.

Earlier, he had decided to try and hint at his feelings to John. It was supposed to be a couple of cheesy pick-up lines, but it turned out to be a long, improvised monologue about how good of a guy he was. While he was sometimes goofy as shit, he generally had other people in mind when he made decisions. Most of the time, he put other people before himself. Also, Dave had talked about how he actually admired him for having a strong relationship with his father, and he added that if he wanted to do that hugging thing again without all of the crying, he would totally be okay with that. In fact, he would really like that.

It had been in vain though because John had been daydreaming. Irritated, he had rolled away from him and pretended to be asleep so that he didn’t have to talk to him. Dave didn’t think he could repeat all of that. He had been anxious enough the first time, and now he just lacked the motivation to say everything again.

The room had been quiet for a long time, but Dave was wide awake with his thoughts. He had finally come to terms with the fact that he had a huge crush on the guy who laid behind him. As stupid and cliche as it sounded, he had never felt like this. Sure, he had a couple of girlfriends before. It was high school. But none of them had made him feel so nervous, restless, and ridiculously happy like John did. 

Did that make him gay? The teen didn’t really care. Sexuality wasn’t an important thing to him, especially now that he knew Bro would be cool with it. Yet, he knew John claimed that he wasn’t a homo. He was completely head over heels for a guy that he didn’t have a chance with.

John hadn’t been asleep either.

“Do you ever think about how long we’ve been friends, Dave? I mean, we’ve known each other for years. Maybe we’ll still know each other when we’re old and stuff. I think that would be really neat,” Where did this come from? Dave’s brows scrunched up as he listened to him. Growing old with John seemed like a pretty good plan though. “You’re actually a really good friend. I’m glad we met.” His heart thudded.

Dave’s mouth hung open, and he laid motionless. There were no words that he could come up with as a reply. What he really wanted to do was turn around and hold him. Maybe he could even pass it off as platonic by calling it “brocuddles” or some other bullshit.

In the end, he just wound up dozing off, but it was short-lived. In the years that Dave had known him, he had never slept in the same bed as John. There was no way that he could have known that he moved in his sleep. Being a light sleeper, Dave awoke at the feeling of an arm snaking over to rest around his torso.

“…Egbert?” He used a hand to remove his shades so that he could wipe the sleep from his eyes. Then, he realized how close John had moved to him. “You awake, man?”

When he turned his head, all he saw was the blonde teen quietly dozing. His breathing was slow and calm, and his eyes were rolling around under their lids. The guy must have been dreaming, but that didn’t change that he was spooning Dave.

The raven-haired boy let out a relieved breath. Even though John was asleep, it still felt nice to be held by him. Sleepily, he imagined that John was actually aware of what he was doing. While he was fantasizing, he also added that they were dating. And they just came back from the movies. And they had shared popcorn and kissed. A smile crept onto his face.

It was that thought(, and probably a bit of teenage lust,) that led him to make the worst decision possible. He put a hand firmly on John’s waist, and he rolled his hips back against his crotch. With just boxers on, it didn’t leave much to the imagination. Dave took in a shuddering breath as he felt a familiar length against his backside. It might have been his imagination, but it felt like John was sort of hard. He continued rubbing up against him for a few long seconds before he stopped himself.

Whoa. What the fuck was he doing? He had to remind himself that they weren’t actually dating. They were best friends, and Dave shouldn’t feel this turned on just because they were spooning. John was sleeping for fuck’s sake, and he really shouldn’t have grinded his ass up against him. The teen put his dark frames back on and squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that sleep would find him sooner than later. Maybe he’d count sheep or some shit.

But now that he was still, there was no mistaking the other’s erection pressing into him. This is what he got for giving into impulses when he was half-asleep. Scowling, he decided to just wait it out. Eventually, the dude behind him would calm down, and then he could go to sleep. John wouldn’t know about what he had done, and everyone would wake up in the morning happy.

Somehow, it got a whole lot worse. The teen laying behind him slowly started flexing his hips forward in his sleep, and his arm weakly held Dave in place. John’s breathing was no longer slow and relaxed.

“Oh, goddamn it,” Dave hissed when John persisted. All he wanted was to go to sleep and pretend it never happened, but the dry humping wasn’t helping his own arousal.

When he thought about it, he had two options to pick from. Option one was to wake John up. It would embarrass the shit out of him, and he would probably keep his distance for the rest of their time together. Option two was to help John out and let him wake up with soiled boxers. He could even roll John away from him. At worse, the guy would feel a little embarrassed in the morning, but he wouldn’t know about grinding his shaft against his friend’s ass.

Okay, option two seemed to have a much better outcome. Dave rolled his hips back against John’s constant movement.

“Mmn, yeah. Keep doing that,” The other teen cooed. What? That was pretty loud and clear for someone who was sleeping, and the friction increased significantly. Immediately, Dave froze up.

“Are you still sleeping?” The shaded guy asked without really thinking about the question. Dave turned his head back to stare at him.

“What?” John asked as his eyebrows furrowed, and he seemed genuinely confused. After a few seconds, he stopped moving completely, and his red eyes blinked open. They went wide. “…Oh my god. Dave! I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t…” As he trailed off, John rolled over and put his face in his hands before curling into the fetal position.

“Uh…” Dave paused. He tried to think of a good way to explain to his friend that he actually enjoyed him grinding against him. Maybe John would be naive enough to believe that it was something platonic friends normally did. But before he could find any usable alibis, the blonde hastily flew out of bed and dashed towards the restroom.

Well, at least John being off and embarrassed gave him time to take care of the lump in the front of his boxers.


	13. So he hadn't been dreaming.

John’s heart pounded in his chest as he sat on the bathroom floor. It took his brain a couple of minutes to catch up with what had happened. The blonde took in shuddering breaths as he recollected himself. So he hadn’t been dreaming.

Tears threatened to form as wetness gathered in his eyes. A disorientating mix of emotions filled his body. His chest tightened with anxiety, and it crawled down to knot into his stomach. What if Dave didn’t like it as much as he had? Oh god. Maybe he was really creeped out by it. John couldn’t control what he dreamed about though!

His hands clenched and unclenched in his lap. Adrenaline from the scenario still flowed through his veins. John couldn’t manage to stay still as he fidgeted on the floor. With a huff, he rubbed the dampness from the bottom of his eyes.

And then there was worry. His head was spinning in it. What if Dave didn’t want to be his friend anymore? What if his dad found out? What if everything would be awkward? What if John wanted to do it again? What if they… What if…

The teen pulled his knees up to his chest and tried to think logically. Did he like Dave as more than just a best friend? He bit his lip as he wondered.

Maybe he had been denying it for a while. John recalled the time that Dave had gotten his first girlfriend in his sophomore year. He had been sincerely happy for him, yet he also remembered feeling something else entirely. John had been peeved that he hadn’t spent as much time with him, and when he saw the both of them holding hands, he had felt a little betrayed. 

But that didn’t make sense at all. It’s not like he had expected Dave to hold his hand or kiss him in the middle of class. Nevertheless, he had still felt like Dave should have been making the effort to spend time with him instead of her. Had that been jealousy? 

The blond sniffled and picked himself off of the floor. He could just pretend like it hadn’t happened. That’s probably what Dave would do, but that didn’t feel right to him. John felt the need to discuss what had happened and to clear the air.

Wait, what was he clarifying exactly?

“I like Dave,” John said aloud to the bathroom mirror. “As more than just friends.” Even though he didn’t know if Dave felt the same or if his dad would approve, at least he knew that much. It calmed him down a bit to realize that.

He gazed at the person staring at him in the mirror. Even with swollen eyes, Dave really was a really attractive person. The teen smiled a little. It felt nice to be comfortable with thinking that. Yeah, he was definitely nice to look at.

John laughed. He felt a bit ridiculous for checking himself out in the mirror. Rubbing the back of his neck, he glanced down towards the tile floor. Well, it would be better to get this out of the way as soon as possible.

As he reached out for doorknob, the dreadful feeling of the unknown came back. Maybe Dave didn’t feel the same. But then again, he hadn’t seemed that freaked out when John had been rubbing against him. Either way, John was pretty sure that they would still be friends though. Pretty sure. Almost completely positive.

Right. John nodded to himself and turned the handle to open the bathroom door. Now or never. This wouldn’t be as difficult as he was ex- SHIT.

A puppet with a cap, big eyes, and long extremities sat on the floor in front of the restroom, causing John to jump back in surprise. After a moment, he recognized it as Lil’ Cal. Damn, that thing was creepy. The blonde cautiously stepped around it (because he couldn’t bring himself to touch it or move it aside) before moving towards Dave’s bedroom.

The door was still open. John inched his way inside, feeling a little stupid for running off earlier. As he chewed on his bottom lip, he eyed the teen that was sitting on the mattress and rubbing his hand on the side of the bed.

“Sup?” Dave asked casually as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Oh man. He couldn’t do this. This was going to go bad. He could just feel it. It would be better just to pretend like nothing had happened.

What? No! He couldn't chicken out now, and he had to say something. John didn’t want to watch Dave get in a relationship with someone else like he knew he would. He couldn’t stand him bragging about some girl, especially now that he knew what his true feelings were. John wanted to BE the girl. (Well, boy. He hoped that Dave would be okay with having a boyfriend.)

“I like you.” The three words tumbled past his lips, and the room was silent. The raven-haired boy stared at him with a tilted head as if he hadn’t been speaking English. Maybe Dave hadn’t heard him. Swallowing, he repeated himself. “I like you, Dave.”

“Yeah,” the other teen replied after a few seconds. “I like you too. We’re best friends, right? Of course we like each other, you doof.” But John shook his head back and forth.

“I mean, I LIKE you,” he tried to explain, putting emphasis on the word. “I like you as more than best friends, and it’s not just because of what happened this morning. It’s been like this for a long time. I guess I just realized it now.” The blonde fidgeted nervously with his fingers.

“Oh.” Dave was quiet. Oh man, he was probably thinking of the best way to let John down. He was going to reject him. He was going to say something like, ‘Sorry I don’t feel the same, man. Maybe in a few years when your teeth don’t stick out so much.’ 

“Me too,” Dave eventually replied. John didn’t understand what he meant.

“What?” Surely, he wasn’t saying that he felt the same. That didn’t seem possible.

“I mean, I like you too. As more than friends, obviously.” John felt his mouth go slack as Dave spoke. “And I’ve liked you for a while too. It would be chill if we could get together after this body swapping thing is over.” Oh, right. There was that obstacle. 

“That’s great!” John said. “Hopefully this all goes back to normal soon. I sort of miss my body. It fit me well.” Dave snickered at him.

Then, the shaded boy went uncharacteristically quiet. John sat down at the foot of the bed and watched him. It was so hard to tell what he was feeling while he was wearing those shades. At least they were better than those dumb anime ones he had worn years ago.

“Is something the matter?” John asked slowly. Perhaps he was rethinking his decision.

“No,” he responded immediately. But then, he cautiously added, “Can I try something?” 

“I guess…” John furrowed his brows and his lips formed a straight line.

“Close your eyes and relax,” Dave commanded, moving closer to the blonde teen on the other side of the mattress. Of course, John obeyed. He trusted him.

As soon as his vision went dark, a pair of lips lightly brushed against John’s. They were close enough that he could feel Dave’s light breath on his nose. He leaned forward a little, causing their lips to meet and press against each other.

It was a chaste and delicate kiss, but John couldn’t imagine it being more perfect. His heart swelled as he realized that Dave truly felt the same. It wasn’t just out of pity. He actually wanted to be with him. After a couple of quick seconds, Dave moved away, and John opened his eyes.

“Has anyone told you that you’re really handsome?” Dave asked seriously. John blinked. The shock of his first kiss was still with him, and he had never heard him say anything like that.

“Well, uh. No. Not really,” he fumbled with his words. “No one has.”

“You are,” he told him, causing John’s cheeks to burn. He had to look away.

“Oh? Thanks,” the blonde said with a little smile. Wow, Dave was being such a sweetheart.

“It’s the truth. But I mean, your own body isn’t bad either,” Dave said jokingly. No. He wasn't a sweetheart. He was just a jerk.

John punched him in the shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect another chapter this weekend!
> 
> As always, I really appreciate the comments and kudos. You are all the reason I haven't abandoned this story by now.


	14. I make ice look hot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I got caught up with some other things, but here's the fourteenth chapter.

For a long while, they just held each other close and watched old cartoons on television. They were both dressed in casual wear since John’s dad would be arriving any minute. The blonde teen rested his head in the crook of Dave’s neck, and the guy with an overbite and sunglasses had an arm wrapped around his boyfriend. 

Boyfriend. Was that what John was to him? It seemed a little early for the word, but it sounded nice in his head. Dave thought about it some more. Boyfriend. He wanted John to be his boyfriend. To be honest, he had wanted to wait until they were back in their usual bodies, but now, all Dave wanted was to be able to call John his.

“Hey, man,” Dave said before nudging the guy he had an arm draped around. “You know how we’re both into each other? We should be together officially. Let’s be boyfriends.” He could feel John giggle.

“Heh, alright. That sounds good.” Wow, that was almost too easy. So they were in a relationship now. That was pretty rad. John’s smile looked like it was about to break his face. 

“Hey, Dave? I’ve been thinking. Remember how you said that we both had to realize something about ourselves before we got switched back? What if the thing was that we both had crushes on each other?” John mused out loud. “We could be back to normal at any moment!” That almost seemed like a possible conclusion until he thought about it some more.

“Nah, I think that we would be back already if that was the case. It has to be something else,” Dave speculated. “We’re overlooking something. It’s probably right in front of us.” There was something that they just weren’t considering.

The blonde let out an irritated groan. “Fine. But we really need to be thinking about this.” He nuzzled into Dave’s neck before sitting up. “My dad should be here to pick you up any minute now.” Oh, right. It was Sunday. John’s father wouldn’t dare to let him stay over on a school night.

“Yeah, alright. I’ll make sure to remind him about that stupid ghost convention.” Dave was sure that he could get the man to buy an extra ticket. Hopefully, they would be back to normal by then though. But something else completely came to his mind. 

“So should I not tell him that we’re a thing now? Are we keeping it on the down-low?” He saw John visibly shrink before he had finished speaking. “If you aren’t cool with that, I’m fine with keeping it a secret for now.”

“I don’t know how my dad feels about guys being with guys. He’s never said anything about it, but I’ve never asked him either.” The blonde rubbed the back of his neck. “It doesn’t exactly come up in conversation.”

“It’s the twenty-first century. If your dad isn’t okay with you being into dudes, he really should be,” Dave said. “But I bet he’s fine with it. Your old man thinks you’re really great, you know.” John just looked down, away from the other’s gaze.

“It’s not that I don’t think he’ll be okay with it…” The boy hesitated before continuing. He clearly wasn’t comfortable with the subject. “I just don’t want him to be disappointed in me. He’s got a more conservative point of view, I guess. He might not like my decision, and that’s what makes me the most apprehensive about telling him.”

Dave just shrugged. He saw John’s point, but he didn’t think it was a very valid one. So what if his father didn’t approve? It wasn’t his dad’s choice to decide whether his son was homo or not. There wasn’t a reason for him to be disappointed, but he knew there wasn’t a way to convince John of that. The blonde looked worried just considering the idea.

“Okay, man.” He didn’t want John to worry over this, so he decided to change the subject. The raven-haired teen stood from the couch. He removed his shades from his face and offered them to John. “If we’re going back to school tomorrow, you need to be wearing these. I hope you know that if anyone sees my eyes, they instantly swoon and faint. I can’t be doing that to people now that I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, really?” John gave a little grin. “And what if I don’t? Maybe I’ll forget them. Maybe I’ll lose them in all of your brother’s puppets.”

“Maybe I’ll forget to wear clothes to school,” the other retorted. The blonde’s smug demeanor dropped, and he finally accepted the sunglasses.

“How have you being seeing without my glasses?” John wondered as he held Dave’s frames in his hands. “It’s not like I have great eyesight.”

“I haven’t. Your vision fucking sucks.” Dave gave a light laugh. “But no one can see me squinting if I have those blocking my eyes.” He gestured to the shades with his hand before sitting next to his boyfriend on the couch again. In the back of his mind, he wondered why the apartment was so quiet. Usually, Bro would have tried to mess with him by now.

“You’re a dumbass. You should have just worn my glasses,” John said as he shook his head slowly. “Dave Strider, you’re the biggest dork I know.”

“I’m glad that wasn’t a turn-off then.” Dave rested his head on John’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his middle. It was comfortable. “But for the record, you’re so much dorkier than I am. I found an old Easy-Bake Oven in the bottom of your closet.”

“What can I say? I guess I have a thing for huge losers,” the blonde replied, ignoring Dave’s last sentence entirely.

“Egbert, I’m the coolest loser you know. I make ice look hot.” John laughed and ran his fingers through the other’s hair.

“Sure, Dave. That’s exactly how it is.” John snickered and pushed the teen off of this shoulder. Dave frowned. It had been warm.

But then, John’s hand was on his cheek. He watched, amused, as the guy tried to find words to say. His red eyes glanced everywhere but at Dave and a light scarlet came to his cheeks. For once, Dave was glad that he could see his eyes and that John hadn’t put the shades on yet.

“Egbert, are you really trying to ask me for a kiss right now? Is that what’s happening?” The raven-haired boy smirked. “I bet you don’t even realize how cute that is. You know, you were practically dry-humping me this morning, and now you’re getting all flustered over a kiss. You don’t have to be so shy about it. Oh, wait. You’ve never been in a relationship before, have you? That just adds to how adorable this is. Does your heart race when we hold hands? Is it racing right now?”

“Dave!” John groaned out. “Just stop fucking talking so I can kiss you already! Do you ever shut up?”

And then John’s lips were on his own. At first, the kiss was light and delicate like it had been earlier. Their lips lingered and lightly moved against each other. Dave knew that they both wanted more though, so he inched closer to the other and placed a hand on the side of his neck as he tried to deepen it.

John stiffened a bit when Dave’s tongue cautiously flicked out over his bottom lip, but then he parted his lips a little, allowing him to have access as his eyes slipped shut. The blonde threaded the fingers on one hand into the ebony hair as their tongues met.

“Mmn…” When Dave heard the other’s soft noise of pleasure, he got encouraged. Carefully, he maneuvered himself into John’s lap without parting their lips. His hands trailed down from the sides of John’s neck to his clothed chest as their tongues rubbed together.

The kiss was a little sloppy. Their noses bumped together once, and Dave was sure the few times John nipped him weren’t intentional. But it was still amazing. It was at least a million times better than their first kiss.

Without being conscious of it, the kiss grew more and more urgent. John’s fingers tightened at his hair as Dave’s hands gripped the fabric at his chest. Slowly, he started moving his hips back and forth, causing just a bit of friction between them. John let out a low groan, and he could already feel his hardened length through his jeans. At least Dave knew that they were both really into this.

He could hear his heart beat in his ears as he continued grinding their hips together, and someone cleared their throat. Someone who wasn’t on the couch. Fuck.

Both of the boys jumped away from each other, their breath heavy from shock and arousal. Bro stood by the television.

“Sorry for interrupting, but I thought I should let the two of you know that John’s father is in the hospital. He’s probably staying there tonight,” the man said casually. “And the next time you guys plan on eating each other’s faces, you might want to do it somewhere else. My Little Pony comes on in ten minutes.”

John was frantic.


	15. Video Games

“What? What do you mean?” John asked in a nervous voice. Any arousal from the kiss had been completely drained out of him. “Why is my dad in the hospital? Is he okay? What happened?” Shit, this could be really bad. And John wouldn’t even get to visit him because his dad wouldn’t recognize him. This was terrible. He could be seriously hurt!

“Egbert. Chill out.” The ebony-haired boy put a supportive hand on his shoulder. “You’re nearly having a panic attack. It’s alright. Calm the fuck down.”

“No, it’s not! What if he’s really hurt? He won’t even know that I’m me! This is really bad, Dave.” John brushed his hand away as he waited impatiently for Dave’s brother to respond to his question. “How is he doing?”

“He’s not dying if that’s what you’re wondering,” the older man said as he readjusted his white hat. Then, he went on to explain. “He called and said that he has a stomach virus or something of that ilk. He can’t hold anything down, and he’s feeling pretty wack, yo. The doctors are going to send him home, but he’s contagious for the next forty-eight hours. Until then, you should probably reside here, Dave.” As soon as Bro was done talking, he sat down on the couch between the two boys and flipped it to another channel before mumbling something about ponies under his breath.

“I’m surprised you didn’t rap all of that info,” Dave added with a little smirk.

“Oh. I suppose I could have.” Bro frowned thoughtfully. “Would you like me to?”

“No, I think I got the message. You really don’t need to do that. In fact, it would probably just make me feel worse about the whole situation. So it would be great if you could… You’re not listening, are you?” John sighed as the older man cracked his knuckles and began to rhyme. 

“Let me lay down this situation, like two newlyweds on their vacation. Your dad’s been feeling under the weather, and Dave’s sticking with us ‘til shit gets better. Of course, you two brats are going to school because missing class is just uncool. You’ll reside here until the mid of the week unless circumstances prove to get more bleak.”

“Yeah, I think I got all of that from the explanation. The dumb rapping wasn’t really needed,” John told him with a little frown as soon as he was finished. “But should we really go to school like this? I don’t think it would be a good idea. Someone could get suspicious. People will notice the difference between me and Dave.”

“Yep,” the older Strider answered simply. When nothing else was said, the blonde let out an exasperated sigh. Tomorrow was going to really suck.

But there was a bright side to things. He and Dave were together now, both in the physical sense and the relationship one. John wondered if anything would change just because they were boyfriends. He really hoped it wouldn’t. After all, they were still best friends right? Best friends that made out with each other.

John looked over Bro to see his best friend looking bored on the other side of the couch. His cheek rested up on his palm as he stared blankly at the television. The guy was either really watching the dumb kid’s show on the screen or thinking about something. He hoped it was the latter. John cleared his throat loudly. 

“Hey, Dave? Let’s go play video games in your room,” John suggested. Internally, he high-fived himself for coming up with such a clever ruse. If Dave knew that ‘play video games’ was code for ‘make out,’ he certainly gave no sign of it.

“Yeah, that’s better than watching ponies.” The black haired boy stood and stretched his arms up over his head. “Let’s go. I’m going to kick your ass.”

“In your dreams!” The blonde grinned from ear to ear and eagerly moved towards Dave’s bedroom. “Have fun with your pony show, Bro.”

The blonde man lazily waved a gloved hand in their direction. “Have fun. And leave the door open so I’ll know that the two of you aren’t doing the naughty.” John’s shoulders visibly tensed at that, and he hurried to take cover in his boyfriend’s bedroom. 

Before he had the chance to make the suggestion, Dave immediately grabbed onto him by curling a couple of fingers around his beltloops. John’s eyes widened when he was pulled closer, and he held his breath as he spoke into his ear.

“So do you really want to play a game?” Dave asked, his breath ghosting over the shell of his ear. “Or can we resume what we were doing earlier?” Without waiting for a reply, he tilted his head and mouthed at the skin of his neck.

“U-uh, yes. Let’s do that,” John replied in a less than steady voice. His eyes darted towards the open door. Bro would probably be distracted with his show, but it was better to be safe than sorry. In a hurry, he pushed Dave away from him before he quietly shut the door. “Okay. Now we can-”

Sooner than John had the time to finish his sentence, Dave’s lips were on his, and he got pinned against the bedroom door. To be honest, it was sort of weird to watch his own body kissing himself. No, it was REALLY weird. John shut his eyes and did his best to pretend they were both normal. For the most part, it worked.

As the kiss deepened, John tangled his fingers into Dave’s hair. The other boy’s hands went up under his shirt as they rubbed his sides. A low groan came from the blonde as Dave moved his lips down to John’s neck. As he bit and sucked, he couldn’t bring himself to care that he would probably be marked. A mixture of adrenaline and teenage hormones ran through his veins. His body told him that he wanted more.

“I think this is just getting in the way,” Dave commented as he tugged upwards at John’s shirt. The boy was rather eager to get rid of it, and it laid discarded on the floor. John could feel his warm lips on his neck before they gradually went further south. Dave mouthed at one of his collarbones, making his breath hitch in his throat. 

Then, Dave started laughing.

John whined loudly as he opened his eyes. “I don’t get what’s so funny about this. Come on, keep going.”

“I guess it’s just weird to go down on myself. But, hey, at least I’m hot.” Dave gave a little smirk, and wow, it was pretty bizarre for John to watch himself kiss down his chest. But, somehow, it was still turning him on.

“Dave, how far is this going?” John managed to ask. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

“Well, we have about twenty more minutes,” he answered before he sank to his knees. Dave gave him a grin. Oh, no. Was he really going to do this? Did Dave even know how to give head? John bit on his bottom lip in worry. 

“Yeah, just… Hurry up.” Dave nodded in response, and his fingers went for his zipper. The other boy swallowed thickly as he watched. Just as the front of his jeans were undone, there was a knock at the door. Oh, no. No, no, no. Not right now.

Dave hung his head and sighed in defeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this took like a month for me to write?? Sorry about that.


	16. Go Fish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School keeps me too busy.

“Why.” The question sounded more like a statement. After speaking, Dave removed his glasses and put his face in his hands, and the blonde wasn’t looking much better. The sunglasses hung from the collar of his shirt, exposing his red eyes that looked everywhere but at Bro and the large brown paper bag on the kitchen table.

“I told you not to close the door,” the older man said as he began to remove item after item from the paper sack. “For all I know, you two were getting naked in there. I’m missing my show for this.” Dave wondered how long he had this weird sex talk prepared. Honestly, the smuppets, bananas, and condoms on the table didn’t look like a good sign.

“Do you really have to do this in front of John though? Seriously, the dude’s innocent,” the ebony haired teen argued. “He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s my fault that he got twisted up in this mess.” But his guardian just shook his head.

“Yeah, if John’s not going to tell his dad about this, it’s really my responsibility. And I’m assuming it’s impossible to come out of the closet while you guys are like this,” he explained as he removed a bottle of K-Y jelly from the bag. John just groaned and looked towards the floor.

“Honestly, I had planned this for hetero sex, but it’s easy enough to talk about asses instead. Now, let’s start with step one. Dave, show me that you know how to use a condom.” He pushed a smuppet closer to his little brother.

 

Well, that was pretty much the worst experience of Dave’s life. And that was counting a lot of shitty incidents. It had been worse than the time that his brother had decided to drag him along to parent-teacher night, and that had been pretty bad.

“We are never bringing that up again, ok? It never happened. Especially the part with the bananas,” the midnight-haired boy began as they sat on the floor of his room. The door was wide open, and he could hear the television playing from the living room. “Oh my god, do you remember when he started peeling the-”

“To be honest, I don’t really want to remember, Dave! We can stop talking about this at any time,” John interrupted. “It’s your turn, by the way.”

“Yeah, ok.” Dave looked down at his hand of cards as he tried to push the memory out of his mind forever. “Do you have any eights?”

“No. Go fish.” John gave a little grin and looked down at his own set of cards while his best friend drew another. “Do you have any… Twos?”

“You’re a fucking cheater,” Dave grumbled under his breath, but he handed over the two of hearts anyway.

“Uno.” The boy showed him his singular card and wiggled his eyebrows stupidly.

“What? John, this isn’t Uno, you dumbass. There’s no reason for you to speak Spanish in this game unless you’re going to whip me up some tacos or something. And stop looking so smug about it. It’s not like you’re guaranteed to win or anything.” He recounted the cards he held. Three. He still had a chance.

“It’s your turn, Dave,” John reminded him, smug look still on his face.

“Yeah, I know. Give me a second here.” His eyes narrowed as he considered his options. “Do you have any… Queens?”

“Hah, no. Go fish.”

“We are never kissing again if you win this game. In fact, consider this whole relationship over. This is the third game of Go Fish we’ve played today, and if you win again that only confirms the fact that you’re a fucking cheater. Think about that when you make your guess, dude. There’s a lot on the line here.” Dave drew another card and leaned forward. John had the audacity to start snickering at him.

“Do you have any sixes?” 

“I’m never playing with you again.”

“Wow. You really suck at this. Maybe we should play an easier game next time?” He asked in a teasing tone. The blonde leaned closer and snatched the offered card before laying the rest of his hand down.

“No kisses. Ever again. Never,” Dave told him as he moved to stand. “I’m so through with you.” 

“No, no, no. Come here.” John leaned up and grabbed onto the bottom of the ebony-haired boy’s shirt. “I wanted to ask you about something.”

“If this is for a kiss, I think you already know the answer.”

“No. I’m actually trying to be serious, Dave. I don’t care about how much of a loser you are right now. Let’s just talk about something.”

“I’m not giving you a kiss.”

“I don’t care about kissing you right now! Just listen for a second, ok?” The blonde let go of his hold on Dave’s shirt, and he stood up next to him. “What’s going to happen at school tomorrow?”

The other boy looked thoughtful for a few seconds before he gave a shrug. “I guess you’re going to do really well in my math class. On the other hand, I hope you’re alright with flunking pre-cal or whatever the fuck you take now.”

“Math isn’t really what I was referring to, but I guess we should probably talk about that later,” John said, and he pursed his lips a little. “But I mean, you’re not going to try to kiss me in front of everyone, right?”

“I...?” Dave’s eyebrows furrowed. It made sense that John wasn’t comfortable with everyone seeing him kiss another guy, but it still bothered him. He knew that it was impossible for John to be ashamed of him or something. He shouldn’t feel so weird about his request. “I guess not. Not if you don’t want to.”

“Ok, good. I’m just… Not ready yet? Yeah. Not yet,” John told him, and Dave could tell how uncomfortable he was with the idea by his tone. He decided not to press it any further for tonight. With a little shrug of his shoulders, he led John towards the kitchen so that they could grab a snack.

But he couldn’t push one nagging thought from his mind. John might not be as ok with this as he thought.


End file.
